The chains of bondage to food are gone! I keep waking up every day amazed at God's provision and presence. Things haven't been all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, Jackson and I have been in more 'discussions' in the last few weeks than ever. My kids are still throwing huge tantrums and/or doing something that is inconveniencing my wants and desires. Yesterday was sort of a hum drum day for me and I didn't FEEL God's love throughout the day as much as I have been. Last night, I was exhausted and felt super irritable with Jackson and the girls. However, I am seeing more victory than I believed possible.
I want to use this blog to document all that God is doing in me and through me and I also am praying that this blog will help you.
Each time I blog for the next few blogs I want to share what I believe is part of the solution to food no longer having a hold on me and for all of the head knowledge gushing to my heart.
1. Prayer- I have been praying... you have been praying... Resonate has been praying (put it on my prayer card several times) that I would really believe what I know in my head to be true. Also, that I would be set free from my addiction to food.
2. Sharing everything- As you know, this blog isn't public so I'm not promoting total transparency with masses. However, sharing with at least one person (if you can a few) all your junk. Share it- pray over it- and don't stop sharing. There were SOOOOOO many days that I binged and knew you all were praying and I would eventually have to share but in the moment I wanted what I wanted. Satan is sneaky like that. However, God is stronger. God already has the victory- we just have to believe it and drag our sin into the light.
3. Focusing on the truth- I've heard this a GAZILLION times. I've read about it, been to conferences, and maybe some of you have told me to do this. The Bible does. It really works. Every little lie- start saying truth to it. Example: "I'm so exhausted. I don't have time to eat right or exercise" (This is a lie). The truth? "God loves me like crazy. He's here with me right now. Loving me. I am exhausted because I am not taking good care of myself. I'm loved and worth caring for. I can make this simple healthy choice and fight for the time to exercise."
4. Picturing Jesus- This might be one of the hugest revelations for me. One of you (thank you Dee!) has been telling me to do this for months. I'm doing it. And I see Him. When you are fighting with the negative emotions, stop and ask Jesus to take your imagination and picture what He's doing. Over the last few days He has been jumping on the bed with pig-tailed Juliette saying "I love my mommy!", He's been holding Belle and telling her how He cares so much more about her inner beauty, He's been hugging me as Fiona hugs and pats my back, He's Jackson looking into my eyes and telling me how beautiful I am. He is with us. He is in everything. The more I think about this and believe it, the more I'm free.
I love you guys so much. I am praying that God will show you how He is right there with you today. I am still going to continue to update you on my weight loss and work out statuses. I weighed myself today and I am 161.6 pounds (almost 10 pounds lost since I last shared my weight with you- not a total focus of course, but my current goal is 149 as a healthy weight).. GLORY. TO. GOD. I am working out (not every day but most days) and plan to continue this and update you on this front.
Grateful for the gospel,
Janelle
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