So some of you that have not heard from me (I don't think there are too many because I've been able to see and tell many of you about this) may think that no news is not good news. But this is not the case.
I have AMAZING news. Since February 20th (this coincides with my trip to my college best friend's place in Oregon) I have not binged on food- once. Glory to God! I could insert a thousand joyful emoticons and statements here but I will leave it at this- I am in utter awe of God's love for me. I BELIEVE He loves me. All of the head knowledge that I have prayed and have asked all of you to pray that I would truly believe is flowing from my head to my heart.
I am going to try to share over the next few posts some specific realizations and changes that are taking place.
Here are some of the big changes:
- I believe that food will not satisfy me, only Jesus. I have always known this to be true in my mind, but now in my heart and behavior this is playing out. I am stopping when I feel satisfied and food (thoughts and inappropriate desires for it) is something I'm enjoying when I should and not thinking about hardly at all when I don't need it.
- Awareness of God's presence is allowing me to be present. Most of my life I have been thinking of the next day, week, or even year... I rarely would spend time with the girls playing games or doing things with them for very much time without forcing myself to sit with them. For the last couple of weeks I am enjoying our girls, family and friends, and even neighbors we're getting to know.
- I didn't realize how depressed, paralyzed by fear and lies, and out of it I was... God has blessed me with clarity and the desire and ability to live life to the fullest. As I believe that He loves me and delights in me, I want nothing more than to glorify Him in every little thing I do.
I am praying for each of you. THANK YOU for your prayers and encouragement.
May we be totally satisfied in Him. I pray that we are aware that He is with us... right next to us and loving us. I will write more soon!
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